3 min read
Your boyfriend dumped you. Your fiancée broke off the engagement. You’re hurt. It feels like your world is falling apart.
No one starts a relationship hoping it crashes and burns. We’ve all been heartbroken at least once, but no matter how many times it happens, it’s overwhelming.
It’s impossible to go through life without being disappointed by someone in some way. But this doesn’t have to paralyze us or keep us from enjoying the rest of our lives and relationships.
When we all need help getting through disappointment, there are five ways to deal with heartbreak.
1. Tell God you’re hurting.
When you experience something painful and difficult, it’s not because God’s ignoring you. God is close to hurting people and He heals the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18, Psalm 147:3). He wants you to be honest with Him about how you’re doing. Spend more time asking God to change you instead of changing your circumstances.
2. Ask for help.
Breakups make us feel abandoned, but don’t believe the lie. Tell a trusted friend what you’re going through. If you’re in a Church Group, let your Group know how they can support and pray for you (1 Thessalonians 5:11 and Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
Jesus made us to help each other. Being around other people reminds us that we can make it through each day, despite our heartbreak.
3. Take it personally, but not permanently.
It’s OK to cry or get angry. Pain and loneliness are real parts of our lives, so we shouldn’t try to hide our emotions.
However, guard against resentment infecting the rest of your life and anyone else’s. Doing or saying something in your anger or sadness would only spread more of the same.
Take time to process your feelings but at a certain point, you have to move forward. The broken relationship was part of your life, but it’s not your entire life. Don’t let what’s in your past derail your future.
The broken relationship was part of your life, but it’s not your entire life. Don’t let what’s in your past derail your future.
4. Forgive even if you can’t forget.
Jesus doesn’t hold mistakes against you because He’s already paid for them. His death and resurrection mean you’ve been given second chances at life (including relationships).
God has grace for you, as well as the person who broke your heart. Everyone needs the forgiveness Jesus offers. Forgiving the person who hurt you doesn’t mean you’re pretending nothing happened. Forgiveness is necessary to move forward in the freedom God wants us to live in (2 Corinthians 12:9).
5. Find a way to learn from it.
Your time in a relationship wasn’t wasted if you can learn something from it.
Every time we fail at something, it’s a chance to learn and grow (even if it’s not our fault). Perhaps what you learned from that relationship can even help someone else avoid heartbreak.
You’re not defined by your failed relationships. You can overcome heartbreak. Because Jesus gives us peace, we walk with Him through any difficult situation, no matter how troubling it is (John 14:27).